(Note: PinkBlush sells Women’s Dresses and Maternity Dresses – I received this c/o PinkBlush out of the women’s section and for the record, I’m not pregnant).
Never Ask a Woman If She’s Pregnant
Today let’s jump on the “deep” train. I’m going to keep sharing parts of my story, even the hard ones.
Peter and I are a really great couple. Great enough that many people think that we should have kids by now. People ask me pretty regularly if I’m pregnant, why I haven’t had kids yet, and even as far as to condone me as selfish for not having a baby yet. I’m not alone either as my husband, Peter has been taken aside by people and been told how selfish we are for our lack of family; my lack of bringing life into the world.
I never wanted to have children. Then, I met Peter. God began to melt my heart towards the possibility of one-day being a mother (especially after hanging out with my niece on our most recent trip to Colorado).
For years I’ve had debilitatingly painful periods. In fact, while in high school they would be so bad I’d pass out from the pain. I’ve passed out in some pretty awkward places… while I was a checker at the grocery store, at choir camp, in front of a basketball arena before we were supposed to go watch NCAA tournament games, and the list goes on. While the doctors have tried many things over the years, nothing has helped ease the pain. Surgery was the next option to try and get relief.
In November of 2016, I had laparoscopic surgery to remove ovarian cysts and other tissue. As a result of that surgery, I was diagnosed with endometriosis. It’s a surgery I’ll likely have to do again, possibly many times in life as the cysts will continue to grow and ravage my ability to have a baby. These days I’m on medicine that hopefully will keep the cysts a bit at bay, but we’ll see, I’m only on month one of trying this new medicine.
What endometriosis has not done is take away my ability to bring life into this earth. The chance of me being able to get pregnant might be slim, but my ability to mother is not gone. I have a family. A big family. I bring life into this earth through my actions, my heart, my service, not just my offspring. I am no less a mother because I am not able to have kids.
Your excitement about whether or not someone might be pregnant is beautiful but before asking “are you pregnant” pause and wonder if you know the whole story. And if you are one of those who looks down on women without a “baby on board” sticker on their minivan think twice about that critique because I’m sure you too have had more people you could call “mother” than just the one who brought you home from the hospital.
Bring life to this earth every day with everyone you interact with. Love everyone deeply and lean into the family who you love and loves you back even if they don’t share your DNA…they share a bit of your soul.